Appetizer Plate at a Buffet

I love my job. I seriously, really, truly do. I'd probably do anything for them at this point- if they asked me to paint a picture of the sunset I probably would. There's just so much wonderfulness everytime I'm there that it makes me feel so at ease and at home. So, so great.

But, I must confess, even with my super fantabulous job, I still wanted more. So, when the temp agency I work with called and asked if I'd like to work Tuesday-Thursday this week, I said sure! Why not?! Money! Yay!

Nuh-uh. No yay. None. Because, not only did I sign up for this job at Macy's (ahem, to all you Macy's employees- being in the corporate office grabs you way more moolah for your time), but I also promised to help a "friend" out with his business, and also help my dad out with his! Now, if I had spread these things out in to three weeks or maybe even two, all this may have been possible.

But Hannah Harper is incapable of doing that. Because Hannah Harper can't say no. Hannah Har- sorry my first person is talking, I, I can't say no to other people. I didn't want to let the temp agency down, didn't want to let Jay down, and I certainly didn't want to let my dad down. I wanna do it all, I want everyone to be completely proud of me for helping them out whenever they need me! I want them to say, "Never fear, Hannah is here!".

And, well, they usually do. But lately, I've been finding it hard to say no even more. Being in New York empowers you like no other city can. It makes you feel unstoppable, even at your most vulnerable and weakest moments. You can have no job here, no money, nothing, but just being here will give you enough motivation to go on endless interviews and wake up exceptionally early to get ready because you CAN do anything you set your mind to!

Yeah? Well that's a great thought New York City! But you're wrong! You can't do everything you put your mind to! Well, OK, maybe you can... but only if you give yourself some time! Space some things out, let yourself breathe a little.

So, this week, I managed to let at least one person down. I feel a little guilty, a little sorry, but mostly really upset that I'm too proud to say no. If I'd have said no to Macy's, I could have not only cleaned my apartment and gotten ready to work for the weekend, but I also could have finished the stuff for my dad and do some sales for Jay. If I'd have said no to Jay and Macy's, I could have gotten the rest and relaxation before my long work week and vacation time with my dad. And because I didn't I almost got sick. Thank God for the snow day on Wednesday- without it I would probably be sleeping in my bed with a straw taped to a bottle of Nyquil next to my bed.

It kind of reminds me of those ridiculous plates at a buffet. You know, the ones that are the size of cup coasters? How does one expect you to pile every piece of delicious food on that plate at a time?

They don't. You see, restaurants put smaller plates out so you eat smaller portions. Because those "all you can eat" buffets really aren't actually hoping you can eat "all you can". They're hoping you put what you can on your plate, sit down, eat, then go back for more if you're still hungry. That way, you take your time, eat less of their food, and make them richer. But some people (OK, I'm going to take a stab at it and say 95% of the male population) pile as much food on their plate that will not cause the food to tip over every time they go up to the food stations. But what happens a lot of the time, is that by the second or third plate of that mountain of spaghetti-salad-taco-brownie-chili-chicken-mashed potatoes, you've realized there's no way you can finish it. Not without barfing or being held at gun point that is.

And then the waitress comes and picks up your plate. And looks at you. Then the plate. Then back at you. And there's disappointment in her eyes. Because all that food you just wasted? She has to clean up.

So, this week, I put way too much food on my appetizer plate at the buffet. And, unfortunately, I was also working the day shift at the diner. And I was the waitress.